Healing From Family Trauma
Every family has their scars and often times they are kept hushed and unspoken. From the outside, the world looks in and sees the “perfect family” but on the inside there is often pain and heartache. Like a vase that falls, we pick up the pieces and glue ourselves back together and move on with life. Oftentimes, letting past wounds fall into the shadows.
On my own healing journey, there has been so much healing that has happened for me around my family. Session after session, coming in for healing. You see, most of our patterns and belief systems are developed during the first years of our life and our families have a huge influence on that. Through energy healing, I have learned so much and have rewrote my family story to bring healing to myself and those in my family. I have been given the opportunity to address unsupportive belief systems and suppressed memories and emotions.
I grew up in a Lutheran home, going to church every Sunday for the first ten years of my life. As a child, there was a lot of anger in the home. At a young age, my boundaries were abused by close family members. My parents always had just enough money to get by but never more than was needed. Before 5 years old, I was happy and outgoing. Then, at the age of 5, I began to regress and started up with habits such as sucking on my clothing and hair. I became more introverted and reserved, and my parents knew something was wrong but never were able to tell me what happened when I asked in the later part of my life (through my healing process, I have been able to recall some of these memories). I also dealt with pretty intense digestion issues, going from constipation to diarrhea to vomiting on a regular basis. I had “food poisoning” almost as frequent as once a month it seemed. I remember many times being told “You want to cry, I’ll give you something to cry about.” So expressing emotions became difficult and I created the habit of holding everything inside.
Through the later part of elementary school through high school, I would bottle things up inside and then once a month would have a melt down. In these meltdowns, I would cry and cry and cry, I had bottled things up for so long that often, I didn’t even know what I was melting down over. I just felt overwhelmed emotionally.
Fast forward to my college years and learning Reiki, Energy Healing, and Massage. I noticed one of the first physical symptoms to go for me were my digestive issues, which was huge. As I learned more, I learned about how our belief systems affect us. I learned how to let go of old belief systems and adopt belief systems that are more supportive. To this day, I am still working on healing around my family.
The first thing I would suggest to healing family trauma is to take a good look at your past. What memories do you have that are strong triggers for you? What beliefs did you inherit from your parents? What struggles do you have now and how can you relate that to your past experiences?
The next step would be to express yourself. Write it in a journal, write a letter, or make a phone call and tell someone how they made you feel. It is never too late to tell someone how they may have hurt you in the past. Remember, that you can not control how others will react to your healing process, but that it is necessary for your own healing. Speaking your truth to someone may also help you realize where you need to create healthy boundaries.
Next, start making changes in your life. Do things differently. This can be different for each belief system. One belief system that you might have is that you never have enough. So instead of talking about what you don’t have start a gratitude practice for what you do have. Shift your perception to support yourself.
Finally, get help and support, this is not an easy journey. I could not have gotten through my own healing of my family traumas without the help and support of friends, teachers, and healers.